Fed's Powell, in testimony, says inflation fight has "long way to go"
By Howard Schneider WASHINGTON The Federal Reserve's fight to lower inflation back to its 2% target "has a
2023-06-21 20:51
What was Hungary’s role in freeing Ukrainian POWs from Russia? The European Commission wants to know
The European Union's executive arm says it will ask Hungary to provide explanations and details about the country's role in the transfer to Hungary of 11 Ukrainian prisoners of war freed by Russia
2023-06-21 20:50
Arsenal agree deal to sign Kai Havertz from Chelsea
Arsenal have agreed to pay £60m to sign German forward Kai Havertz from arch rivals Chelsea this summer.
2023-06-21 20:49
DIICOT: 3 things you need to know about organization at center of Andrew Tate and Tristan Tate's rape and human trafficking case
DIICOT charged Andrew Tate and Tristan Tate, along with two other women, for rape, human trafficking, and forming a crime group to exploit women
2023-06-21 20:48
Maya civilisation: Archaeologists find ancient city in jungle
The remains of the city were found in an ecological reserve in a mostly unexplored area of jungle.
2023-06-21 20:48
Inside the 'Are We Dating the Same Guy' Facebook groups exposing cheats across the world
Modern-day dating feels like a complicated sport. And now, with a whole new vocabulary to describe every trial and tribulation, it’s becoming even more challenging to break out of the amateur dating division. Is it a red flag, a beige flag, or an amber flag? Is he ghosting me? Breadcrumbing me? Lovebombing me? Who knows, maybe he’s on the verge of delicate dumping me? Welcome to smart dating in the digital era. So, you’ve learnt the zeitgeisty lingo and have a newfound confidence in identifying certain behaviours. Things are seemingly going well with a third Hinge date on the horizon – then BAM. You find your promising beau’s face splashed across a Facebook group filled with tens of thousands of strangers asking: Are we dating the same guy? Originating in New York with over 110,000 users, the Facebook group has since branched out to London, Paris, Dubai, Toronto, Dublin, Los Angeles and Boston. For the blissfully unaware, Are We Dating the Same Guy works like this: Women share screenshots of dating profiles and ask for intel or red flags. The Facebook posts are often inundated with personal experiences ranging anywhere from STI claims, cheating allegations and toxic behaviours. To join the groups, women are asked a series of questions before agreeing to a set of robust rules and digitally swearing they will not leak any of the group’s contents to outsiders. Among the rules are no doxxing (publicly sharing someone's personal details), no roasting, and no naming of the men. That said, it's become all too easy to identify people online through reverse image searches and word of mouth – to name a few. “The popularity of these groups are in alignment to the increase of smart dating – this is a phase that I think society is in,” dating expert Paul Brunson tells Indy100. “We’re becoming more aware of dating behaviours – a prime of that being the word ‘toxic.’ Twenty years ago, no one was speaking about ‘toxic dating’, but now there are many people who believe they can define it.” The intention of Are We Dating the Same Guy is to keep women safe and create awareness about toxic behaviours. “These groups have great intentions because ultimately it is about identifying dangerous people and behaviour, which is a good thing,” Paul explains, citing that while women are going through an incredible “empowerment phase” with “more time and command over the dating space,” it is still is very much “far tilted on the man’s side.” “We still are living in a society that is far greatly tilted towards men when it comes to dating, and it’s not just men from a general standpoint,” he continues. “It’s even some of these terrible nuances in dating.” These include narcissists, psychopaths, Machiavellians, and sadists – people that contribute to the psychological theory of personality. Furthermore, a recent study from the charity Plan International worryingly revealed that a third of German men still find physical violence against women to be acceptable. A staggering 34 per cent admitted to violence against their partner to “instil respect in them.” Meanwhile, a further 33 per cent thought it was acceptable if their “hand slipped” during an argument. “The fact that we still have survey results like that shows that we definitely need spaces to protect and empower women,” Paul adds. Paul, who recently added Global Relationship Insights Expert to his impressive matchmaking resume in addition to Married at First Sight and Celebs Go Dating, explains how we’ve got “much more information and content around dating than ever before that goes beyond anecdotal.” There's now empirical evidence, with researchers who have been conducting studies for 10-20 years, which Paul believes to be the “driving force behind smart dating.” Paul highlights that women are becoming exceedingly great at dating which is often driven by feedback loops due and open discussions about their experiences. They've become more emotionally available, more courageous, and understand how to be less neurotic when dating. Men, on the other hand, hardly have any feedback loops, and Paul believes we could actually benefit from mixed-gender groups, as men need to catch up and “have a higher dating IQ.” “We know that guys suck when it comes to emotional intelligence, compared to women – so a lot of it is poor execution.” Ultimately, there are “far fewer bad guys than there are good guys.” We know bad men exist, but according to evolutionary psychologist Dr David Buss, the highest percentage of men that fall into the dark tetrad personality types is 15 per cent of the population. "That's the group that has evil intentions," Paul continues. This is not to get confused with misalignment and miscommunication when dating. When intentions aren't communicated, you could end up with two people seeking two different things. Subsequently, the person who seeks long-term commitment views the behaviour of the short-termer (i.e. casual sex and friends with benefits) as toxic. “Ultimately, I think we have a lot of guys that their intention is not fully outlined, and because of the misaligned intention you have the interpretation of their behaviour as being ‘toxic’, when in actuality, sometimes it’s not,” Paul explains. To make dating a more positive, safer and enjoyable experience, Paul shared three invaluable tips to have under your belt: Don’t exchange personal information right away A dark tetrad or a straight scammer will try and move you off the app quickly. And the reason they try and do that is because the apps are really good about safety now. If someone is asking for your personal information, the safety features will inform you not to send that information, thanks to the AI built into the app. If you have given up your information, the app can no longer protect you. Stay on the app and let it protect you. Be cautious when people ask for things The moment you have anyone ask you for anything, mainly money, that is a huge red flag. It doesn’t necessarily need to be a grand amount, it could be as simple as “I don’t get paid until next week, please could I have five pounds." Meet in a public space Meet in a public space, never get picked up from your personal address and inform friends about the date details. Most importantly on the first meet-up, set boundaries. You can very quickly see how respectful someone is to your boundaries. An example being, you meet up on your lunch break and you only have until 2pm. When that time comes, do they try and push you to stay even longer – despite informing them you have to leave because you have something to do? Anytime someone is disrespecting your boundaries, that is also a red flag. Have your say in our news democracy. Click the upvote icon at the top of the page to help raise this article through the indy100 rankings.
2023-06-21 20:48
Psychologist warns of the major red flags if you enjoy true crime documentaries
In recent years, the popularity of true crime documentaries has absolutely soared but now psychologists are warning that watching them to relax is a huge red flag. Thanks to streaming sites like Netflix, true crime documentaries have become a genre in and of themselves, but one expert has argued that watching them in order to fall asleep could be a sign of the harmful ways a person processes trauma. Doctor Thema Bryant explained how watching true crime for comfort because the trauma feels “familiar” is a sign that you may benefit from counselling. Sign up to our free Indy100 weekly newsletter Speaking on The Mel Robbins Podcast, Dr Bryant said: “If your idea of relaxing before you go to sleep is to watch three episodes of Law and Order, [then] I would encourage you to think about 'why is trauma relaxing to me?' “That's what it is. Harm, crime, violation, attacks, and that's what is going to soothe me into my bedtime.” @melrobbins If your idea of “relaxing” before bed is watching a few episodes of Law & Order (or any other #truecrime show), listen up. This was just ONE of the many incredible mic drop moments ? and knowledge bombs ? that @Dr Thema Bryant drops on the #melrobbinspodcast. Listen now!! ? “6 Signs You’re Disconnected From Your Power and How to Get It Back: Life-Changing Advice From the Remarkable Dr. Thema Bryant” ? in bio #melrobbins #podcast #trauma #traumatok #healing #bingewatching Dr Bryant explained that people often discuss their love of true crime in therapy with her and argued many people find it “normal and familiar”. She went on: “Some of us grew up in high-stress [situations], so people mistake peace for boring. And it's like, to come home to yourself, you have to lean into the discomfort because it’s going to feel unfamiliar.” In response to the podcast clip shared on TikTok, many reflected on their own relationship with this kind of television. One person wrote: “Wow that is exactly what I watch to relax. This was so enlightening.” Another argued: “The trauma isn't relaxing to me – it's the justice the characters/real people often get that I never did in my own life.” Have your say in our news democracy. Click the upvote icon at the top of the page to help raise this article through the indy100 rankings.
2023-06-21 20:47
Paris air show: 'Progress' in supply chain as jet orders rack up
By Allison Lampert and Valerie Insinna PARIS (Reuters) -Jet engine maker Pratt & Whitney flagged "solid progress" in the aerospace
2023-06-21 20:29
Ukraine to come up with new debt relief plan early next year
By Marc Jones LONDON Ukraine is likely to decide early next year whether to try and extend the
2023-06-21 20:27
Chris Hemsworth puts daughter India's childhood first, says 'there's plenty of time' to join Hollywood
Chris Hemsworth proudly shared how his daughter India Rose enjoyed her role in 'Thor: Love and Thunder' and met the demands of production
2023-06-21 20:27
'Black Mirror' ep "Demon 79" picked one hell of a disco song to reference
In the midst of all that murder and mayhem in Black Mirror's "Demon 79" lies
2023-06-21 20:26
How did Britney Joy die? Crushed fans pay tribute to ‘relatable and funny’ TikTok star
Britney Joy, 35, died along with her mother while going to a Juneteenth celebration
2023-06-21 20:25
You Might Like...
Putin held post-mutiny talks with Wagner leader Prigozhin and his fighters - Kremlin
Ron DeSantis picks up 10 South Carolina endorsements from former backers of Tim Scott's campaign
Could Christian Obumseli have been saved? Security waited 12 mins outside Courtney Clenney's home as she attacked him
Couple buy a four-storey Italian home for the price of a chocolate bar
Bruce Willis looks great as a new grandpa
Brazil's Embraer to start building flying taxis
How tall is Jesse James West? Fitness YouTuber is only an inch shorter than legendary bodybuilder Ronnie Coleman
Joe Rogan delves into alien abduction theory with Matt Rife on JRE podcast: 'It feels real'
