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Thanksgiving is only a day away and most Americans have solidified their family plans for the holiday. Whether you’re hosting the big meal or heading to a relative’s house, the holidays are often a chance to reconnect with loved ones. However, Thanksgiving Day isn’t always a family-oriented occasion. Over the years, several studies have found that the seemingly joyous holiday season isn’t always easy for everyone. In a survey conducted by the AARP Foundation in 2017, 31 per cent of respondents said they felt lonely during the holidays throughout the last five years. Meanwhile, 41 per cent of participants were concerned about a family member or friend feeling lonely around the holidays. In 2020, a survey conducted by ValuePenguin also found that 70 per cent of respondents struggled with different types of loneliness before Thanksgiving and Christmas, partly due to the effects of the Covid-19 pandemic. While socially-distanced holiday parties have mostly become a thing of the past since then, there’s still many reasons why some people spend the season by themselves. Some Americans have family members living on the opposite side of the country, or world, while others may not have a close relationship with their relatives at all. There’s no one concrete way to spend the holidays, and everyone has their own reasons why they choose not to see certain people on Thanksgiving. Speaking to The Independent, Emma Mahony, a therapist at Better Life Therapy based in Pennsylvania, acknowledged that, when we spend the holidays alone, our feelings of loneliness can be heightened. While everyone experiences loneliness in a different way, Mahony believes that the feeling could be tied to how Thanksgiving has been portrayed over the years. “I think a lot of the anxieties and concerns that come up have to do with unmet expectations of what you think a holiday is supposed to look like, and what you think your relationship with your family or your friends is supposed to look like,” she said. “I think that’s where a lot of people themselves feel a little bit of a stressful state. Just maybe feeling a little let down by the expectations they have for themselves, after watching other people experience the holidays differently than them.” The holidays are often referred to as the most wonderful time of the year, but that doesn’t ring true for everyone. In some cases, the winter months can be quite a triggering time, and potentially a reminder to people of how they’ve been hurt by those closest to them. According to Mahony, the best way to manage those feelings of animosity is by creating your own perspective about the holidays and new ways to celebrate. “I think you should allow yourself to reframe it as: ‘Okay, how do I want the holidays to look for me? Who are the people that I do want in my life? Who are the people that I don’t want in my life?’” she advised. “Don’t try to make something that shouldn’t happen happen. Instead, recreate your own memories and your own traditions, and give yourself space and permission to do so. But also, if you know that it’s going to be a hard time for you, create that support system, from reaching out to a therapist or to a close friend.” For those who do have a close support system, it can make skipping out on Thanksgiving dinner a little easier. On the other hand, your cousins may miss sitting next to you at the dinner table. Still, Mahony believes we shouldn’t try to convince our family members to attend an event in which they’ve already opted out. “If someone decides they don’t want to be with you over the holidays, respect that choice for them,” she explained. “Don’t make them feel bad for prioritising themselves and their needs. [It] will potentially, you know, make things worse long term. I just honour that everyone needs to do what’s best for them, whether that be financially, emotionally, or physically.” Even if you decide to celebrate Thanksgiving this year without your family, it doesn’t mean that you’re entirely on your own. Mahony suggested setting up a Zoom call or FaceTime with some friends, or planning a fun meal if you’re worried about eating solo. “You could really do whatever you want, so I would set up things for yourself to look forward to,” she said. For those who are spending the holiday alone, but still want to take part in Thanksgiving-related activities, spend the morning or afternoon at a local homeless centre. You can continue the day by hosting a Friendsgiving dinner or movie night with your pals who are still in town. When it comes to food, you can cook a mini turkey for one or ditch Thanksgiving dinner altogether and order take-out at a local restaurant. Then, close out the night with some early Black Friday shopping online or in person. Although this Thursday is indeed a federal holiday, who says the day can’t feel like any other? Ultimately, how you spend Thanksgiving is entirely up to you and there’s no right or wrong way to celebrate the holidays. Remember that you shouldn’t be too hard on yourself for avoiding family during the holiday season. “If Thanksgiving looks different for you year after year, that’s okay. There’s not a specific way to spend the holidays and no family looks the same,” Mahoney said. “If you’re coming to terms with the fact that being with your family for the holidays isn’t what’s best for you, give yourself a little bit of compassion there. “It will get easier over the years, as you figure out how to take care of yourself better.”

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Already feel like you’ve had your fill of sore throats, coughs and stuffy heads this winter? Colds may be common and minor – but they can still leave you feeling rotten, not to mention being a major inconvenience. They aren’t really something you want to be traipsing to the GP surgery with either – but wouldn’t it be helpful to know what your doctor really thinks about managing winter ailments? We asked them… Getting ill is not always terrible Nobody enjoys having a cold, of course. But GP and TV medic Dr Hilary Jones – known for regular appearances on Good Morning Britain – says we can’t always “prevent exposure to viruses, especially in winter when people flock together for warmth indoors”. And if symptoms are mild, we probably don’t need to worry too much. “Let your own immune system deal with it,” says Jones. “That’s what your immune system is for – and looking on the positive side, the more you tickle up your immune system, the healthier it is. In a way, you’re stimulating your immune system to be healthy.” Antibiotics can be harmful if you don’t actually need them If symptoms are proving tougher to tolerate, it can be tempting to try antibiotics. But while there are certainly times when antibiotics are vital, they only work for bacterial infections, so taking them when you have a viral infection (such as a cold) is not only futile, but could cause harm. “Often, both clinicians and patients will be tempted to try antibiotics, even when there is little-to-no chance of them helping – ‘just in case’ and often accompanied with the reasoning of ‘what harm can it do?’,” says Dr Tom Jenkins, GP and developer of Centoreze Pelargonium. “We are now beginning to appreciate that there is potential harm at an individual level,” Jenkins adds. “There are more bacterial cells in the human body than human cells, and most of those bacterial cells are helpful and essential for healthy functioning. Because antibiotics are not selective and do not single out just bad bacteria, taking them upsets our bacterial microbiome, and we are now starting to learn about the subtle and sometimes lasting consequences of this.” Another major concern is bacteria becoming resistant to antibiotics – which the World Health Organisation (WHO) describes as one of the biggest threats to global health today. Tackling this is complex, but on an individual level, WHO guidelines suggest people only use antibiotics when suitable. Soothing home remedies are worth it Jones, who is working with Manuka Doctor, also points out: “If you do get sick, comforting symptomatic relief is really important, starting with the simple things. I’m an advocate of manuka honey – the genuine manuka honey from New Zealand, which carries a number for the antibacterial activity, the MGO methylglyoxal.” As well as its antibacterial properties, Jones says it’s “soothing for throats” and can provide an “energy boost” – plus his 97-year-old mother is a fan. “Not only does she put it in her porridge, she put it on her skin for a few lesions that she has – perfectly well-endorsed by the district nurse who comes to visit her as well. “You can also put honey in a grog, in hot water, with a bit of lemon, a bit of cinnamon – that’s something our grandmothers used to use, and to good effect.” The herbal remedy that’s doctor-approved There are so many natural remedies out there promising to fight off symptoms, and deciding between them can be overwhelming. But did you know there’s one herbal remedy that is recommended by the National Institute of Clinical Excellence (NICE) for managing certain upper respiratory tract symptoms? Pelargonium, licenced as a Traditional Herbal Remedy, is recommended by GPs to consider as one of four self-care treatment options for adults and children aged 12 and above. It’s mentioned on the NHS website’s page for coughs, too – along with getting plenty of rest, staying hydrated, Paracetamol and Ibuprofen where suitable for pain relief, and honey and lemon. Derived from plants found in South Africa and Lesotho, Pelargonium was widely used to help treat infections before antibiotics boomed. But “over the last quarter of a century”, Jenkins says , “clinical research has begun to revisit this forgotten treatment, especially in Germany, and now more recently here in the UK too.” This has “resulted in the publication of over 70 peer reviewed pre-clinical and clinical studies supporting its effect”, says Jenkins. He explains it contains “a large number of biological molecules” that work in a number of ways to “stimulate the body’s immune system to fight infections”. Diet and lifestyle do play a part “Diet is always important,” says Jones. “A healthy lifestyle does protect us and helps our immune system. Clearly there are obvious things not to do – smoking and excess alcohol – as well as poor nutrition. “We know vitamin D is important for good immune health, and there are many people who are deficient in vitamin D, who should be taking a supplement as recommended by the WHO and NHS, particularly through winter,” Jones adds (when there isn’t enough sunlight in this part of the world for our bodies to make sufficient amounts). “So vitamin D, adequate vitamin C, zinc, and sometimes things like garlic and echinacea can be helpful in making sure your immune system is healthy.” While a balanced diet comes first, Jones believes “it’s always worth considering a multivitamin, which gives you a little bit of everything, particularly if your diet is restricted or selective in any way or if you’ve got extra needs”, he adds. “But healthy eating, plenty of fruit and vegetables, adequate protein, exercising moderately and avoiding pollutants and cigarettes – those are the main things.” Check in with your doctor if you’re constantly rundown Still feel like nothing seems to help? Then it may be time to check in with your doctor. “If you’re concerned that you have any possible underlying medical problem, I would always advise discussing matters with your GP,” says Jenkins.“Sometimes recurrent infections can be a sign of an underlying infection, but sometimes they can be because you are rundown. Your GP is ideally placed here because they have your medical record, are able to look into things in more detail, and can follow you up.”

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An 18-year-old was told her constant exhaustion was likely caused by depression and the stress of her A-levels – only to eventually be diagnosed with a debilitating chronic illness. Elizabeth Hope, from Cheltenham, Gloucestershire, experienced painful headaches and had begun falling asleep at 5pm every day while studying for her A-levels. “My mum would wake me for dinner and then I’d maybe do like an hour’s homework, which is absolutely not enough when you’re studying for your A-levels, and then fall asleep again,” the now-27-year-old recalls. When Hope said she needed to lie down during rehearsals for the school show and stopped going to cheerleading practice because she was too tired, her parents knew there was a serious problem. “To start off with, my parents thought ‘oh she just doesn’t want to go to school’,” she says. “But I started not being able to do the things that I enjoyed, so then we realised that something was very wrong.” She visited another doctor, who found Hope was experiencing myalgic encephalomyelitis, also known as chronic fatigue syndrome or ME, a long-term illness that affects the nervous and immune systems. People with ME can experience severe pain and fatigue, as well as a range of other symptoms, making everyday physical and mental tasks exhausting, according to the NHS. Hope was so exhausted that she struggled to leave the house without using a wheelchair. “I was literally stuck in my house,” she says. “We would maybe go out to one shop and then I would have to come home. Being able to use a wheelchair was amazing for me because I could go to two or three shops or go to the park and stuff like that.” A woman of 18 told by doctors that her constant exhaustion was likely depression and A-level exam stress, was diagnosed with a debilitating chronic illness which means she uses a wheelchair, but has overcome her adversity to become an award-winning wheelchair dancer and dancing instructor. “Struggling with loneliness,” she was “really unsure” when her mother suggested she attend a wheelchair dance class in Birmingham – but it turned out to be one of the best decisions she ever made. She learnt to manage her energy levels and “fell in love with dance”, and has since gone on to perform in her wheelchair at the 2022 Commonwealth Games opening ceremony and two cheerleading world championships. “I think for people with disabilities, it’s not like you can do whatever you want, because it’s not true, but you can do things in a different way,” she says. “But I love dancing and being able to share my passion with other people is just, yes, it’s really cool”. As a dancer, Hope was soon competing and joined another two dance groups, Sun Rae Inclusive Dance and Apt Dance Theatre. She went on to win the UK ParaDance National Championships with the group and came second in the solo contest after performing to Kylie Minogue’s 2018 song “Dancing”. She also found a cheerleading group and travelled to Florida in the US, where she went on to win the world championships in 2019, in the adaptive abilities category. In early 2022, Hope received a message from a friend suggesting that she apply for an assistant dance artist job with the national disability charity Sense. “They said you can apply with a cover letter and CV or via video,” she said. “So I basically made this video about how much I love dance.” To her surprise she was invited to attend a recruitment workshop. “I was like, that was fun, but I won’t get a job because all these people are way more qualified than me,” she said. “But then I got offered the job.” Hope was initially going to turn down the job because the working hours were more than she thought she could manage, but was told they would come up with a solution. She now teaches people with disabilities to dance, from non-verbal school groups to elderly people in care homes – including a 102-year-old. “It’s just about managing my energy and pain,” she says. “So for example, I rest a lot and only work one day a week. It’s just about pacing your activity more than anything else.” For more information on the accessible arts activities Sense offers, visit: sense.org.uk/our-services/arts-sports-activities-for-disabled-people/art-for-disabled-people/ Read More A$AP Rocky claims having a family with Rihanna is his ‘best’ collaboration Ashlyn Harris breaks silence on cheating rumours following Ali Krieger divorce I present my children on Instagram like a fairytale – I’m now rethinking A$AP Rocky claims having a family with Rihanna is his ‘best’ collaboration Ashlyn Harris breaks silence on cheating rumours following Ali Krieger divorce I present my children on Instagram like a fairytale – I’m now rethinking

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