The bisexual community has an inside joke that describes what it's like to date as a bi person: People think it means double the options and double the fun, but it really just means double the rejection.
Self-deprecating jokes like this one are at the core of the "Single People Club" regardless of whether you're in pursuit of gay dating or straight dating, but bisexual people do face extra roadblocks in the dating world.
Yes, online dating sucks for everyone, but the fact that there's only a single bisexual dating site that technically caters specifically to this community (and even then, we have mixed feelings about it) means that many folks are frequently swiping on people who don't take bisexuality seriously.
The unique dating challenges that bi people face boil down to one rigid concept: being too gay for some and too straight for others.The "B" in LGBTQ+ makes up 50 percent of the queer community, but it's one of the least-acknowledged letters in the acronym. What makes the bisexual dating landscape — especially the online one — so tricky to maneuver?
Before we get into the best dating apps for bisexuals, let's tackle this question.
Bisexuality is hyper-sexualized on heteronormative apps
A frequent bi dating experience is one that all women face online, now heightened by the mere mention of "bi" or "bi-curious" in a dating app bio: men being creepy. Too many straight men have yet to grasp the concept that bisexuality is not a green light to ask a stranger how many girls they've been with or if she likes men or women better.
SEE ALSO: How to flirt when you've just come out as bi23-year-old Megan from Virginia told us via Facebook that she couldn't even count the number of gross (slash ignorant) messages she'd received from men in reference to writing "bi" in her Tinder bio. "There were times when they would be like 'Oh, you never seemed gay in high school' or whatever, because gay is obviously a personality trait 🙃," she said. "Like my sexuality wasn’t a real thing or it was just a fetish to these people."
Even on Bicupid, the aforementioned singular bisexual dating app, there are a lot of couples looking for bi-women to hook up with. That's not necessarily wrong, but it plays into the assumption that a bi person's dream is to have a threesome. Especially on a gay dating app (where the user base should hopefully be more enlightened than on comparatively heteronormative apps), that's a very faulty assumption to make.
Catfishing is also an issue. Some men have such a rabid obsession with queer women that they'll sign up for a dating site as a woman just to see an all-women swiping field. It's a total privacy breach at the least and certainly doesn't boost your willingness to meet up with someone in real life. That's why the best dating sites require some form of Facebook or ID verification these days, or in the case of Tinder, have built-in background checks as a feature of the app.
Queer dating apps aren't always inviting, either
Does "gold star lesbian" ring a bell? The label is given to lesbians who have never slept with a man. Countless bisexual women have reported being ghosted after disclosing that they have been with a guy before, and even on the best dating apps for bisexual women, profiles with "gold stars only" in the bio have popped up, too.
Then there's the issue of bi people feeling invisible when they're deemed too "straight passing," which can often happen in queer spaces. This kind of invalidation contributes to many bisexual folks' struggles of not feeling queer enough.
This feels a lot like the impossible Goldilocks principle, doesn't it, of being too much and never enough?
Why people think you should still put "bi" in your dating app bio
Adding those two simple letters to your bio will draw some unwanted attention, and it's going to be a pain in the ass. But in the long run, it'll also act like an asshole filter to weed out people who try to put sexual orientation into a box.
The idea that being bisexual is just a pit stop to being "fully-blown gay" — or that it means that you're attracted to everyone you see — probably aren't thoughts you'd prefer a partner to have. The easiest way to ensure that you won't be left heartbroken over someone not accepting your sexuality? Let them know from the jump.
"Coming out" over and over again is unfair. But doing so right off the bat also acts as an early screening for people who identify as bi but say they wouldn't date another bi person — something that a lot of bi men experience from bi women.
With all of this in mind — and it's a lot to keep in mind — we wanted to review the best bi dating apps. We can't promise you'll never have a bad experience (indeed, that's all but guaranteed when you brave free dating apps), but we believe these apps give bisexual folks their best shot at finding a compatible partner.
