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If the drama on the pitch at the Sidemen charity match wasn’t enough, then the one-liners from commentator Stephen “Stephen Tries” Lawson got people talking online, as he took aim at the likes of KSI, MrBeast and IShowSpeed in his analysis. Joined by Hashtag United founder Spencer Owen, the YouTuber – who has more than a million subscribers on the platform – narrated the match which resulted in an 8-5 win for Sidemen FC. So, allow us to recap all of the greatest witticisms the content creator rolled out: “Speed, quick as a flash – although… I shouldn’t say flash, actually” Commenting on the streamer’s remarkable pace on the pitch, Lawson referred to last month’s scandal surrounding Speed where he accidentally exposed himself to fans during a YouTube livestream. “Chris MD there, just speaking to a woman saying how hot he is – have a day off, lad” A brutal joke given YouTuber Chris Dixon reportedly split from his girlfriend earlier this year. “Simon is a born winner. The only thing he’s ever lost is my invite to his wedding.” Simon “Miniminter” Minter married singer Talia Mar earlier this year. “MrBeast, the most subbed man on YouTube. What does that tell you? He’s got bad stamina!” A cheeky play on words about MrBeast and his 182 million subscribers. “WillNE is wearing a camera on his chest, but as we all know, it can take time to get used to playing with a strap on” No need for an explanation here... “Harry pictured his mother’s face in the top corner” Referencing the infamous 2017 video in which Harry “WroeToShaw” Lewis hit his mum in the face with a football, Stephen Tries pulled out this one-liner when the YouTuber scored the fifth goal for Sidemen FC in the second half. “I’ve never been more worried about a sub since the OceanGate incident.” One of Lawson’s edgier remarks, referring to the tragic implosion of the Titan submersible during its venture to the Titanic in July. “He’s great with his hands, even better with his elbows, it’s KSI.” KSI was in goal for this match, in order to avoid an injury ahead of his fight against Tommy Fury next month, and that led to a range of hand-related jokes about the boxer’s previous matches. This one concerned his bout against Joe Fournier which was ruled a “no contest” instead of a knockout after cameras picked up on his elbow connecting with his opponent’s face before he fell to the floor. “Great preparation for him catching Tommy Fury’s hands next month” The match takes place in Manchester on October 14. “KSI’s feeling the fury now” An easy pun, of course, in reference to KSI's rising anger at his team's defence on the pitch. “I’m not going anywhere,” says Harry - that was actually when he was defending the statue of Churchill, but we won’t go into that” Sidemen member Harry Lewis is known for making edgier jokes than the rest of the group - including on Brexit, refugees and immigration – and was the only member of the Sidemen to not issue an apology following a Sidemen upload which saw KSI say a racial slur. “Filly, a Columbian export with a powerful kick – I’ve had that before” Rapper Yung Filly played for the YouTube All-Stars during the match at London Stadium. “Mr Beast cured 100 people’s blindness, Deji wasn’t one of them” When KSI’s brother Deji Olatunji was spotted wearing goggles on the pitch, Lawson brought up a recent upload by the most-subscribed YouTuber in which he paid for cataract surgery for 1,000 blind people (not the 100 people Stephen claimed). And away from Stephen Tries’ comedy, YouTuber Max Fosh got a few laughs when he responded to the first booking of the match with the good ol' Uno reverse card for referee Mark Clattenburg in the 77th minute. Classic. Sign up to our free Indy100 weekly newsletter Have your say in our news democracy. Click the upvote icon at the top of the page to help raise this article through the indy100 rankings.

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Diogo Dalot described the recent external scrutiny and criticism of Manchester United as a “killing machine” after Erik ten Hag’s side secured a return to winning ways at Burnley. The Red Devils have been under the microscope off the field as well as on it at the start of the campaign, having lost four of their opening six matches in all competitions for the first time since 1986. The heat was on as absentee-hit United headed to promoted Burnley on Saturday evening, when Bruno Fernandes’ fantastic volley on the stroke of half-time secured a much-needed 1-0 victory. “We are playing for Man United,” right-back Dalot said. “We have to be consistent in every game because they will kill you in every direction that they can if you don’t win games. “And you could see this last couple of weeks, it was another normal killing machine against us, but we fought hard. “When we get into Carrington (training ground), the noise stays outside and we work hard. “And I think we were rewarded with these three points, but we want to keep going.” United were not entirely convincing against the winless Clarets, but it was a solid showing underpinned by clear togetherness and focus. “I think this was massively important,” Dalot told MUTV. “Apart from the three points, I think the clean sheet brings us a little bit of extra confidence to go to the next games. “We needed it after these last couple of games when we conceded a lot of goals and this has to build a foundation now for the next game. “I think today we showed a proper compact team, aggressively defending the box, everybody (supporting) each other. “Collectively we were very good. Everybody was speaking with each other, communication, aggressive on the front foot. “And I think that brings you confidence when you look to your mate and he’s giving everything for you. “You want to give everything for him as well. Today we came out to the pitch with that mentality. “I think this is the standard that we need to have for the rest of the season.” As for Burnley, their wait for a first win since returning to the Premier League continues. Vincent Kompany’s outfit showed flashes of quality during the narrow home loss and summer signing Aaron Ramsey is keen to build on that display. “We didn’t come out with three points, but I think that everyone can see a lot of positives that we can take from that, that we can take into the next game,” the 20-year-old said after making his Premier League start. “Hopefully the three points come soon but in the changing room all of us are taking as many positives as we can from it – and there’s quite a few. “It’s Manchester United and I think that we more than competed and hopefully next time we get the three points, but like I said loads and loads of positives from the game, and we can just build from that.” Read More Charity boss speaks out over ‘traumatic’ encounter with royal aide Ukraine war’s heaviest fight rages in east - follow live Johnny Sexton demands Ireland ‘make it count’ after win over South Africa Phil Foden admits Rodri will be a ‘big miss’ during his three-match suspension On This Day in 2014 – Sir Bradley Wiggins wins time-trial gold in Spain

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