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As if to prove a point, I am sitting in front of my computer, typing with one hand and dipping chicken nuggets into mayonnaise with the other. Admittedly, it’s not even the good stuff – it’s M&S-branded mayonnaise, which is fine but certainly no substitute for a delicious Hellman’s. But to me, all mayonnaise, even not-very-good-mayonnaise, is the good stuff. This might come as a surprise. As a food writer, I’m often expected to rise above the simple condiments. The circles I run in, usually full of food lovers and taste-makers, tend to decry mayonnaise, which pains me. “God, I hate mayo,” some of them proclaim. This happened to me not long ago while getting chips at Wetherspoons, as if we were even eating at some sort of paragon of British cuisine. “Mayonnaise is boring!” they shout. “It’s got no flavour! It looks gross!” I cringe because I was about to help myself to the squeezy bottle. I’ve often felt embarrassed by my love for this apparently bland condiment. When the people around me make announcements about the awfulness of mayonnaise, I wonder if my reputation as a gastronome will be tarnished by the sizeable dollop I like to add to the side of my plate. But I’ve noticed a pattern of late, and it’s time to address it: the people who shout obnoxiously about hating mayonnaise are usually white people who are self-described “foodies”, which is perhaps one of the cringiest words of the 21st century. And I’ve had it. I think it’s self-loathing, really. The same white people who decry mayonnaise see themselves in its milky complexion and feel the need to prove that they are different – exotic, even. Maybe it’s even a way of distancing themselves from the proverbial sins of their fathers. But mayo slander won’t give you a blank slate to reinvent yourself. In fact, it’s been unfairly vilified as plain and dull for too long. It’s one of the UK’s favourite condiments – second only to ketchup – for good reason, and has far more potential than we give it credit for. How do I love thee, mayonnaise? Let me count the ways. Firstly, the way it’s made is pure magic. Eggs? Oil? White vinegar? Lemon? As they are, they don’t really make any sense. But blending them somehow creates a smooth, thick, creamy emulsion. Who on earth discovered this? There are numerous legends about how mayonnaise was first invented; some food historians say it was the French, others point to the Spanish. The sauce can be traced back to 1756, and has gone through many iterations before arriving as the eggy, almost jelly-like substance we know today. The other thing I love about mayonnaise is how versatile it is. You can mix it with just about anything – this is something Heinz does with abandon, selling varieties like Mayomust (mayo and mustard) and Mayocue (mayo and barbecue sauce). I draw the line at some of the brand’s more Frankenstein-esque creations – monstrosities such as Creme Egg mayo and hot cross bun mayo. Some things are better left alone. But mayonnaise mixed with other savoury condiments is revelatory, one of my favourites being sriracha mayo. I would highly recommend making your own mixes, as this lets you decide on a ratio that works for you and means you won’t have to stoop so low as to buy anything labelled “Mayoracha”. Mayonnaise also has far more uses than just dipping. You could mix it with ketchup to make a thousand island dressing for salad (although maybe don’t check any calorie counts if you do this… I certainly don’t). One of the best tips I’ve ever been given is to spread a thin layer of mayonnaise instead of butter over the outside of your cheese toasties before grilling them – the fat in the mayonnaise and its uber-spreadable texture will help you achieve an even browning all over the bread. It has non-food uses, too. You can use mayonnaise, for example, to marinade chicken, which yields tender, juicy meat with loads of flavour. Finally, trying different types of mayonnaise from other countries has been quite an adventure for me. Japanese mayonnaise – my utmost favourite – is tangier due to the use of rice vinegar, as well as more unctuous in texture than regular mayonnaise. I squeeze squiggles of it over scrambled eggs, freshly steamed rice, fried chicken, anything. Dutch mayonnaise is richer and more flavourful, which makes dipping chips into it feel quite luxurious. While I have yet to try Russian mayonnaise, I imagine it is just wonderful, considering Russia is the only market in Europe that sells more mayonnaise than ketchup. My love for mayonnaise knows no bounds. Well, there are some bounds; I wouldn’t choose to emulate Kingsman star Taron Egerton, who once told the Off Menu podcast he spreads mayonnaise on his pizza like butter on a slice of bread. That’s taking things a bit too far. And I won’t touch any sweet mayonnaise atrocities. But I urge anyone who’s ever uttered the words “I hate mayonnaise” to give it another chance. Especially if you’re white. Reclaim your condiment! As for me, I’m done with being embarrassed about loving mayo. In fact, I’m off to buy more. Read More Best wines to pair with Thanksgiving dinner Three easy cranberry sauce recipes to try this Thanksgiving Vegetarian and vegan alternatives to classic Thanksgiving recipes

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Eddie Howe had admitted the hardest part is yet to come for Sandro Tonali after watching him play a cameo role in Newcastle’s 4-0 Premier League victory over Crystal Palace. The 23-year-old Italy international, who could face a lengthy ban if he is found to have breached betting rules by an ongoing investigation in Italy, was applauded warmly by the Toon Army before, during and after Saturday’s game at St James’ Park. Tonali and his club do not yet know when he will discover his fate, but head coach Howe is convinced the support he has received to date will help him whatever comes his way. Howe said: “Let’s wait and see, but yes, I think the hardest part is ahead regardless of what happens. “Immediately, you get a lot of attention and people are talking about the situation. He’s had the love of the supporters today, but that’s difficult to maintain over a long period of time. Who knows what’s ahead? “I just think it’s great for him to know he’s got the support, not just of the senior management at the football club and the manager, but also the support of the supporters and they’re the most important people.” Tonali was introduced as a 69th-minute replacement for Bruno Guimaraes with the Magpies already four goals to the good in what could conceivably be his final game for several months if he is found to have broken the rules and is suspended. Whether he is able to be involved in Wednesday night’s Champions League clash with Borussia Dortmund on Tyneside remains to be seen, but whichever team Howe sends out will kick off brimming with confidence after a comprehensive win over the Eagles. Jacob Murphy set the ball rolling with a fourth-minute lob which owed a great deal to good fortune – Palace boss Roy Hodgson described it as a “freak” goal – and further strikes from Anthony Gordon and Sean Longstaff before the break and Callum Wilson after it wrapped up the points with the minimum of fuss. Howe said: “It was a really important game today. It can’t be underestimated how tough those games are because you don’t have a full squad, we’re having to manage players who have travelled a long way and had a big mental load for their countries. “So I’m really pleased with the players’ response to that because these are very tough games. “Crystal Palace don’t concede many goals. We knew the first goal today was going to be really, really important and thankfully we got it quite early.” There's nothing really positive to say from our point of view Crystal Palace boss Roy Hodgson Hodgson’s emotions were understandably different after his best-laid plans were ripped apart before the break. He said: “We came here thinking and believing that we could give Newcastle a good game and maybe even make life a little bit difficult for them, but we fell woefully short in that department. “The first half was really nowhere near what we’ve been able to do up to now and what I thought we would still do despite the fact that this is a tough ask against such a good team because they are a hard team to defend against. “But it didn’t work out and at half-time, we were just looking really at salvaging something from the game and not going away totally and utterly dejected because we’d conceded even more goals than the four we conceded. “There’s nothing really positive to say from our point of view.” Read More Pep Guardiola hails ‘exceptional’ Brighton after Man City return to winning ways Thomas Frank: Five-year anniversary meal will taste better after Brentford win Rob Edwards salutes Luton super-sub Elijah Adebayo after equaliser at Forest England skipper Jos Buttler questions his decision to field first in latest loss Skipper Rob du Preez gives Sale deserved win against Leicester A true gentleman – David Beckham pays tribute to ‘national hero’ Bobby Charlton

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